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The truth is… I always wanted to be a mother.
I was going to be married by 25 and proceed to have 6 kids. Yes, 6 kids. I really wanted to make sure I gave any daughter I had a sister—a built-in best friend.
Life didn't go the way I expected—I am a statistic I never wanted to be.
I am a childless woman, not by choice (tears are welling in my eyes and there is a lump growing in my throat but I am sitting if a coffee shop as I type this so I gotta keep it together).
But, this is my story and I am doing my best to lean into it and accept that pregnancy and parenthood will always be parts of the human experience that remain a mystery to me.
And…
I can find some joy and extreme beauty in that—like I did in my early days as a wedding photographer before I had my own experience with finding my person and planning a wedding.
Back then, there was so much about being in love and being a bride that I longed to experience. As a wedding photographer, I got to peek behind the curtain and explore this mystery a bit. I was privy to beautiful, intimate moments that few other people are.
It gave me a greater and more realistic understanding of this part of the human experience.
I think this is why in recent years, and maybe even just this past year specifically, I have fallen in love with photographing expecting parents, and newly made families.
And, why I feel so called to candidly document families just doing life together—to preserve these fleeting and unique moments as they happen (the same way I photograph a wedding day).
These are all parts of the human experience that will forever remain a mystery to me. It is, however, something I can explore by observing and documenting others as they get to have these experiences—as a family photographer, I can peek behind this mysterious curtain.
I am so grateful to the couples and families that have opened their hearts and homes to me, giving me the opportunity to do just that.
I don't love that childlessness is such a big part of my story, but I am committed to leaning into it and making it beautiful (for myself and for others).
A personal story from New Brunswick Family Photographer, Shannon-May
